Tuesday 6 March 2018

Helping Her Remember by Kate Carley



Internalised misogyny is alive and well

Where do I even start with this review? For a small-town second chance romance with a secret baby, this book managed to annoy me in ways I can’t properly articulate

On the positive side, it handled dementia and aged care with tact and grace. There are some really nice relationships between family and friends, even if their friend group is threatening to get messy.

Here’s the thing: the baby was a secret because the father was a) a cheater and b) an alcoholic. The heroine made the (IMO, correct) decision to keep the father out of the picture. When she does return and finds the father has sobered up, she decides to tell him. The cat jumps out of the bag a little early and the reveal happens in public. Who gets the blame for this?

Well, both of them.

There’s this really icky thing where every ‘apology’ he makes is followed by one from her. He apologises for cheating (though not very well), she immediately forgives him and apologises for staying away. He apologises for being the kind of person she kept their son away from and she follows up with an apology for keeping the son away from him. Even when he gives a decent apology, the book undermines it by making them out to be equally at fault. She constantly carries around this giant burden of guilt. I’m all for communication and talking through issues, but this endless line of self-recrimination and blame does not make for a satisfying book.

Furthermore, he steamrolls his way into the son’s life and wants to do an overnight visit within a month of meeting the kid and within a week of knowing his parentage. I don’t care if you and the mom were childhood friends; that’s not how you parent, buddy.

Finally, the ending felt abrupt. It’s only a happy ending in the family and relationship areas. There’s a subplot with her job that doesn’t tail off, it jumps off a cliff.

If you don’t mind double standards, uneven pacing, and half-hearted endings, you may enjoy this. Otherwise, I’d recommend giving it a miss.

Two stars

I received a copy of this book in return for an honest review

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